It’s State Tournament Time! GET OFF THE ROADS!
Ohh, the state tournaments. The late winter festival in Iowa where residents from our great state all converge on Des Moines to cheer on their sons, daughters and classmates as they fight towards basketball and wrestling championships. For the students in schools lucky enough to attend, tournament time became almost like an early spring break. Schools were quick to excuse students from classes so that they could attend games in Des Moines. Ultimately, what would happen is the students arrive in Des Moines en masse, then forget that the arena (or in my time, Vets) was their intended destination. Instead, there would be small herds of kids, dressed in school spirit wandering the streets and skywalks of Des Moines, with no particular place to go.
For some, tournament time is one of the few, if only times they make it to Des Moines in a year. I can only imagine that retail outlets like Jordan Creek treat tournament time like a mini-Christmas season. School mascots should be set up in center court with kids asking for rebounds and pins for their tournament. The food courts are buzzing, the parking lots are jammed and hotels are at capacities that rival new year’s eve.
One of the downsides of the tournament crowd coming into Des Moines is that they HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THEY’RE GOING. You’ve seen it before. Someone driving a car with Cerro Gordo plates slowly through the streets of downtown Des Moines. putting on their turn signal, then turning the direction opposite of that which they signaled. Drivers from Fayette county going 50 on 235 in the right lane, trying to figure out which downtown exit takes them to the mall. Then there is my favorite story ever. One which I would not believe had it not happened right in front of me last year. An out-of-towner driving two cars in front of me has created a train behind them because of their slow speed. It’s clear they don’t know where they’re going. I watched them not only run a red light, but brake at a green light (well, that’s apparently just an Iowa thing). Then, they reached their breaking point of confusion when they made a U-TURN in the MIDDLE of the street on which they were driving. This would be alarming enough, were we not ON A ONE-WAY STREET. The driver pulled into a metered spot - facing opposite all of the other cars - and appeared to begin to gather their thoughts. As I passed and honked along with my fellow local travelers, I could see multiple sets of arms flailing inside the car as it appeared Magellan was not this teen’s co-pilot.
So for those that are visiting our fair city during the tournaments, welcome. Please obey all traffic signs. Enjoy shopping at the malls and best of luck to whichever team you are here supporting. Just please stay the heck out of my way!
